– Soul cries -

From Padre Pio writings:

Deep darkness envelops me; an invisible and powerful force splits me up and disperses me to the four winds and while I am trying to gather up what remains of my scattered faculties, everything vanishes once more as if completely crushed and cancelled. Dear God! I come to you in deep cpnfusion, to you who are what you are, while I myself am a miserable nonentity worthy only of your contempt and commiseration. But I realize that I am dealing with God and that he is mine. Ah, yes, who can deny that he is mine ? … I re-read your repeated assurances and exhortotions and find it impossible to assimilate them fully, I ask myself if in my insensible belief there may not be something harmful to my soul, a lack of that conformity which God wants from me. Alas! The feelings which rise up in me on this account go to both extremes, they clash and reduce my soul to a state in which it is almost powerless to react and they keep it in greatest torment day and night. ( Letters I, 1229/1230)

From Padre Pio writings:

Where am I ? What is happenig within me ? Where can I find God ?  Where is my God ? It is a vicious circle which leaves me back at the starting point … Dear God ! I can no longer go on, my dear Father. I feel I am dying a thousand deaths at every instant. I feel myself being consumed by a mysterious force, a deep and penetrating force which keep me continually in a delightful but most painful languor. What on earth is this ? Is it a sin to complain to God of such harshness ? And if it is a sin, how am I to suffocate these laments when an irresistible force drives me to complain to our sweet Lord, a force over which I have absolutely no control ?         ( Letters I, 1230)

From Padre Pio writings:

Dear God, I certainly don’t want to lose hope. I certainly don’t want to wrong your infinite mercy, but in spite of  all these efforts to have confidence, I perceive within me keenly and unmistakably the dark picture of your abandonment and your rejection. Dear God, I trust in you, but this trust is full of fears … O my God ! If I could understand even ever so slightly that this state does not mean rejection by you and that I am not offending you, I should be willing to suffer this torment a hundredfold. ( Letters I, 1413)

From Padre Pio writings:

I left everything in order to please God and I should have given my life a thousand times to seal my love for him. But now, dear God, how bitter it is to feel deep down in my heart that you are irritated with me. I just cannot find peace in face of this misfortune. My heart is drawn irresistibly and vehemently towards its Lord, but an iron hand thrusts me away all the time. Imagine a poor shipwrecked man clinging to a piece of the ship’s timber while every gust of wind threatens to make him drown … Moreover, this state causes me to suffer even at dead of night when I endeavour more than ever to find my God. ( Letters I,1413)

Letters I, II Edition year 1984, Edited by Melchiorre of Pobladura and Alessandro of Ripabottoni.

English version edited by Father Gerardo Di Flumeri O.F.M. Cap.

Be Sociable, Share!

• 
•